This post was written by the AMAZING Scarlet, and I’m so overjoyed to be able to share her writing with you. Besides being an AWESOME stylist, and my BFF, she’s hilarious, incredibly smart, and a wealth of insight. I read this little note and had to ask if she’d let me post it, because while the holiday season seems bright and merry, not everyone experiences that holiday joy…

Some years I have it, and some years I don’t. Last year I certainly did not have it. I decided though, that that was somehow connected to the fact that I never put up a tree or any other sort of decoration. I also, (thankfully) work at a salon that does not play Christmas music. Ever. My parents didn’t put a tree up last year either, and we haven’t really done gifts since I put the kibosh on that, oh, about 6 years ago when I was working at Banana Republic. It was my 4th season working retail during the Christmas season, and that’s enough to make anyone view the whole season as a disgusting, gluttonous, stressed out, corporation-incited spending binge. Besides my disgust with the way customers behave that time of year, working at Banana didn’t actually pay very well at all, and I found I couldn’t afford to buy people gifts I thought were worth buying. If I’m going to buy something, for me or anyone else, I want it to be high quality, attractive, something that I will want to look at and/or use again and again… or a delicious food item that has nothing whatsoever to do with candied fruit.

At that time too, I was trying to buy for grandparents and cousins… which, after talking to friends and coworkers, I’m so lucky to have such a small family to buy for! I’d have ended gift giving a lot sooner if I had multiple siblings, particularly ones with significant others and even kids! So anyway, I’d had enough and I told my parents and everyone else that I didn’t want them to get anything for me, and that I wouldn’t get anything for them. I still wanted to get together and see everyone, but couldn’t we just kind of repeat Thanksgiving, and gorge ourselves on delicious food and enjoy each others company, without the stress of gifts? I feel like it’s been a resounding success.

Last winter was long, dreary, and bleak feeling to me. I felt that I’d cheated myself out of some grey-banishing joy by not putting any decorations or lights up, and promised myself to decorate this year. I realized what the original purpose of the celebration was. Solstice. I think that eons ago, people needed a reason to celebrate during the long, dark, cold, grey, and probably-hungry winter months. When you’re in the middle of winter, the next 2-3 months till the sun starts coming out regularly again seems like 2-3 years. So people put lights up, and decorations, and celebrated being halfway though it. People partied hard and looked forward to when the weather would start to get nice again, and daylight would last for more than 8 hours.

Image Via ActiveRain

So I put my trusty little fake tree up this year. I started it in the morning before work one day, and had to finish it when I got home, and I honestly looked forward to it all day at work. When I finished it and plugged the lights in, I just sat in it’s glow and gazed at it and smiled at it like a simpleton. It really does fill me with a sense of warmth, well-being, and appreciation… for all kinds of things. I sat there appreciating my (somewhat) annual work of art, since no tree is ever the same, even if it is the same tree with the same ornaments, I appreciated tradition, I appreciated my family, and friends, and everyone that has ever shown me kindness. And I was filled with love. And I was filled with joy. Just looking at this basic facsimile of a tree, made out of plastic and metal, and covered with shiny things made out of plastic, glass, and metal, and shimmering with lights, brought forth these powerful and very positive emotions.

I was lucky enough to get to decorate two trees this year, both my own and my parents’. I talked them into going to a tree farm to cut one down, and of course I accompanied. As usual we chose an enormous tree… though it really didn’t seem that way in the field! Perspective is a tricky thing. We had a major set back in that most of the light strands my parents had were only half working. With perseverance on all our parts, we got them all working! For the first time in years the 3 of us had a wonderful time getting a tree up and decorating it. No one got grumpy, no one got frustrated (even though it was frustrating), we all just enjoyed the experience. We were rewarded with a beautiful tree!

This year I’ve gotten in the gift-giving spirit again. Not for many, my parents and my boyfriend and my grandpa, whom I live with. The thing is, this year I feel the true spirit of gifts. It isn’t about the gifts themselves. They are merely a representation of feelings. To me they say, “Thank you for being in my life. I appreciate you, and I want give you a physical token of that appreciation.” Buying things for people I love very deeply, with that feeling behind the purchases gives me great satisfaction. I am glad that I am in a place financially that I can buy a few things for my loved ones, that I think they will appreciate every time they look at them. This year too, and probably forever in the future, I am avoiding shopping malls and corporations in general. All the gifts I’ve bought so far have been from small local companies. I’ve discovered it’s a much more rewarding way to shop, in general. I also feel like the gifts are much more unique, and therefore personal.

I hope you all have a safe, happy, warm holiday season, surrounded by people you love… even if you are a scrooge and hate the season, I hope you find lots of love and joy during these cold and dark winter months!

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