Do you ever toot your own horn, and then almost immediately panic – as if what you’ve done might not have been such a good idea? It’s like submitting a resume and then promptly experiencing some sort of terror that you’ll fail at what you’ve just submitted your resume for, or worse – you’ll be found out as a fraud.   It’s like writing that blog post and hitting submit, only to become overwhelmed by a feeling of dread.

Or have you ever been afraid to tell people exactly what you’re worth – much for the same reasons?

Carta - Letter, by Makia 777 on Flickr

Too many women undervalue their skills, their charms, and their business worth – and it’s been highly cited that women don’t ask for what they deserve.  Studies cite gender programming (giving boys nerf guns, and giving girls dolls as toys) and the gender gap as a major source of womens gender-role problems, undervalued status, and the implied struggle for equality.  Women have historically been told that being sweet, pretty, smart, charming, alluring = success, and so many girls want to be so much more.

“Considering that women make up half the world’s population, “over time,” the authors write, “a nation’s competitiveness depends significantly on whether and how it educates and utilizes its female talent.” That’s just part of the reason why even incremental strides toward eradicating gender inequity should be hailed. But while more than two-thirds of the 115 countries covered in the report since its inception in 2006 have posted gains—particularly in educational attainment and quality of health—females worldwide still lag far behind in economic participation and political empowerment. The report underscores yet again that while women have won critical battles in the struggle for equality, the war is far from over.”

(Source: Time.  Read more here!)

It’s not hard to find blogs, directed at women, discussing how important it is to love and support yourself – first and foremost.  The “Self-empowered woman” has been such a buzzword for so long that it makes me wonder why we’re still struggling with it.  In many of the blogs I read, young women face self-doubt and often, a quiet insecurity on where they’re headed in life, and how to get there.  We (as young women) are worried about how to define our success and measure it.  We struggle to define – for ourselves – our worth.

Take a moment to sit and write down your positive traits – categorize them.  For example, write down your strengths in business, your academic merits, or why you’re an amazing person.  If you find it difficult to write this list, stop and imagine you’re someone you know who loves you.  Or alternately, as Barbara Sher suggests, pick a family of influential people and write the list as they would see you (Ch 3 – Creating your own Cheering Section).  Write down those reasons you took that leap – why you sent out your resume, or why you’re an excellent candidate for anything.

Stratejoy has some fantastic prompts on the more personal (less business) side – and being able to practice this for your personal traits will improve your skill in defining your business traits:

Questions To Ask to Connect with Yourself:

• What do you have to offer?
• What makes you extraordinary?
• What repels you?  What attracts you?
• What makes you feel alive?

The next time you’re immediately doubtful of your skill, your experience, or your worth, pull out this list and ask yourself what you can add to it.

Sometimes we’re bogged down by the voices of those around us – even their actions and how they live their lives seem to outdo even our strongest efforts.  With this little mental list of what makes you great, of what makes you tick and what thrills you, you can look right through the feedback that doesn’t fit you.  If you’re unsure where to start, it might be helpful to write out your life job description.  Write out the great things you do – this often helps you realize just what you’re worth, and often you’ll see that you do things of extraordinary value that you didn’t even know about.  Surpass and rise above the doubts and fears – this year … this decade, it’s all about transcending that.

To those people who make monikers for years, I say we call this one Two-Thousand and Transcend.   Cheesy?  Probably.  Fun?  Of course.  Now take it and run with it!

Related posts:

1. Wholestyle Manifesto
2. Invest In: An Updated Resumé
3. Thoughts on “Fame”

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