To Try, Then Buy
“If you don’t want to spend money shopping, don’t shop?” He helpfully offered.
Don’t shop? The words roll around in my head. Don’t shop? Isn’t that what fashion and style bloggers do?
I had stopped checking all the sample sales, I turned a blind eye walking past the H&M when I was laid off – but it was an upcoming ladies tea… and the curve of a wedge heel, and the urge to shop was there.
It’s not that I need to buy, I told myself, I just like looking at stuff. The cut of a hem, the drape of a satin, the alluring sparkle of sequinned tanks. And besides, what harm can browsing do? Except, I saw this dress that was a gorgeous sateen cotton and I had to try it on. And that was the trap.
“I’ll just try this on… it probably won’t fit.”
It didn’t. The dress was too small to get over even my narrow shoulders and because I mourned the ill-fitting cut of the dress, the entire experience gave me pause. I can’t afford to just browse and shop. It’s true that I have great reason to browse – I can surf through a collection in person and write about it later. But it was the realization that I went into this store, consciously ready to consume. Unwittingly ready to buy had that little dress fit (and had it been oh… $10 cheaper – but even $10 is easy to rationalize) and I didn’t realize that until I was majorly bummed that it didn’t fit. I had a guilty second where I thought to myself, “I should NOT be here…”
Stepping outside the store gave me a breath of fresh air and I rationalized that I’d been emotionally shopping – I went in because I was bored and killing time. I haven’t felt the ego-blow of being laid off (because ex-employer was sort of a dick), but there is a sense of mania when I ask, “What am I going to do with myself now!??!” I’d rationalized my purpose for going in (“Oh I can just browse to kill time…”), but I hadn’t realized that I went in with the wrong mindset. At that same time, if I had seen something truly unique and special, that would seamlessly integrate right into my closet… shouldn’t I buy it?
I need to be aware of the underlying mental reasons for wanting to “just browse” – and if I had cash-in-hand the situation would have been much different. If you’re going to browse – just browse – without having the money in your pocket to purchase, do so with an editorial eye. Had I gone in, in the right frame of mind, telling myself “I’m going in because I want to note the construction of this line, or the new trends and fabrics”, I probably wouldn’t have put myself in potential debt danger (wait, how was I going to pay for this dress if I didn’t have the money on me? OH right! Credit!). Had I gone in with the actual money right in my hand, I would have been justified to try and buy.
I don’t think the solution to not frivolously throwing money out is to not shop. It’s a source of wardrobe inspiration, and often it’s a source of blog inspiration. Hell, we probably all spend at least half an hour browsing through sales on the internet while we’re looking for post-fodder. I think the solution to that mindless consumption is to be mindful of why you’re shopping, and what you’re feeling while you’re doing it. And to think I almost rationalized an ill-fitting dress just to satiate my feelings! I think for me, it will be about having that money right in my hand and available when I actually want to shop to consume. And to realize when there is an underlying emotion as I’m out surfing the racks. Don’t shop to kill time, but do it with a sense of purpose – whether that’s to write about the experience, or to actually purchase something. Know your purpose, be mindful of your triggers. Shop, but know why you’re there.
Mindless consumption is a pretty serious and prevalent problem – especially when you’re on a limited budget. How do you stay mindful while browsing?
5 Responses to “To Try, Then Buy”
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The best thing I do that keeps me in line (although I’m not a natural shopper or spender, so take this for what you will) is to put the price into perspective. When there’s no or very little money coming in, thinking about the potential purchase in terms of bills or other needed expenses is helpful. For example, there’s a cute pair of shoes I want at Walmart right now (don’t judge me), and they’re $40. That’s a steal in the larger shoe scale, even if they are a year behind fashion, but it’s also 65% of our weekly grocery budget, 75% of our cell bill, or a tank of gas. When I look at it in that light, it’s easy for me to pass up the shoes, even if they are adorable.
Ellie Di recently posted..Inspiration Station 026
I love this post, and love that you acknowledged that NOT shopping is not the answer. You’re right! Mindfulness is the key!
I actually had a moment of clarity related to mindless shopping the other day. I was in a local outlet mall with my mom and husband, and to kill time while my mom shopped one store, I walked into cheapie store Charlotte Russe with my husband. Two steps in, I said to Hubby, “I don’t need to be in here. I’m not buying cheap crap anymore.” Over the last few years, especially, I’ve found that the things that are only in my closet for a season have been my Forever 21 and Aldo purchases. I’ve made a vow to be more mindful in this way. It’s fun to have something new all the time, but if I could have all the money back that I’ve spent on cheap, impulse purchases, I’d have a new Gucci bag in my closet right now.
I did end up buying some things that day, but they were well-made items on deep discount from Michael Kors and BCBG. that’s the way I’m going from now on. The items that stay in my closet for 5, 10+ years are the “good” things, the high-quality pieces.
••V••
http://www.gritandglamour.com
@gritandglamour
GRIT & GLAMOUR recently posted..WVW- The Scorpion
@GRIT & GLAMOUR Thanks so much for your comment! I think you’ve got a great strategy for shopping. I’m headed the same direction!
@Ellie Di That’s a great point! To look at it in terms of what ELSE that money could pay for is often shocking!
Wow, this is a great post. I can honestly say that I have CERTAINLY been guilty of going out to shop out of emotional necessity. Recently, while cleaning out my closet I’m sad to admit that I got rid of a few items I realized I hadn’t even worn! Why in the world did I buy them?? I was out shopping because I was bored, sad or mad and just bought stuff. Had I been mindful of this I would have gone for a run instead and had a few more pairs of MK heels and designer jeans.
Krystle recently posted..Fit Tuesday Ah- PUSH it!
The best thing I do that keeps me in line (although I’m not a natural shopper or spender, so take this for what you will) is to put the price into perspective. When there’s no or very little money coming in, thinking about the potential purchase in terms of bills or other needed expenses is helpful. For example, there’s a cute pair of shoes I want at Walmart right now (don’t judge me), and they’re $40. That’s a steal in the larger shoe scale, even if they are a year behind fashion, but it’s also 65% of our weekly grocery budget, 75% of our cell bill, or a tank of gas. When I look at it in that light, it’s easy for me to pass up the shoes, even if they are adorable.
Ellie Di recently posted..Inspiration Station 026
I love this post, and love that you acknowledged that NOT shopping is not the answer. You’re right! Mindfulness is the key!
I actually had a moment of clarity related to mindless shopping the other day. I was in a local outlet mall with my mom and husband, and to kill time while my mom shopped one store, I walked into cheapie store Charlotte Russe with my husband. Two steps in, I said to Hubby, “I don’t need to be in here. I’m not buying cheap crap anymore.” Over the last few years, especially, I’ve found that the things that are only in my closet for a season have been my Forever 21 and Aldo purchases. I’ve made a vow to be more mindful in this way. It’s fun to have something new all the time, but if I could have all the money back that I’ve spent on cheap, impulse purchases, I’d have a new Gucci bag in my closet right now.
I did end up buying some things that day, but they were well-made items on deep discount from Michael Kors and BCBG. that’s the way I’m going from now on. The items that stay in my closet for 5, 10+ years are the “good” things, the high-quality pieces.
••V••
http://www.gritandglamour.com
@gritandglamour
GRIT & GLAMOUR recently posted..WVW- The Scorpion
@GRIT & GLAMOUR Thanks so much for your comment! I think you’ve got a great strategy for shopping. I’m headed the same direction!
@Ellie Di That’s a great point! To look at it in terms of what ELSE that money could pay for is often shocking!
Wow, this is a great post. I can honestly say that I have CERTAINLY been guilty of going out to shop out of emotional necessity. Recently, while cleaning out my closet I’m sad to admit that I got rid of a few items I realized I hadn’t even worn! Why in the world did I buy them?? I was out shopping because I was bored, sad or mad and just bought stuff. Had I been mindful of this I would have gone for a run instead and had a few more pairs of MK heels and designer jeans.
Krystle recently posted..Fit Tuesday Ah- PUSH it!
@Krystle I’ve had that happen to me – I usually wear something once and then forget I even have it. It’s frustrating when I realized that by doing that, I’m basically throwing money away because I needed a quick pick me up.