Whether we realize it or not, we are all influenced by something, whether it be celebrities, trends or designs of the past. This week’s links a la mode celebrates influencers and the voices we create from our inspiration. As fashion bloggers, we have each other to look for when we are feeling uninspired and this community is something we should never take for granted!

Links à la Mode: July 28st

• 1972projects: WASTED
• a tout le monde: Simple & to the Point!
• Beyond Fabric: The Lost Art of Keeping it Simple
• Bespoke Baroque: The Challenge to Wear Less Black (and Grey and Beige)
• Bonnie Vie: Body Con(scious)
• Britt + Whit: Wall Art
• Chanel and Something Else: The Naked Back
• Dress With Courage: How do you define blogging success?
• Fashables: Forever 21 Dresses
• FASHSTASH: Redefining the Gender Boundaries in Fashion
• I Got Style and I’m Fab: A Reflection on Small-Town Fashion
• IFB: What Makes a Blogger Influential?
• Interrobangs Anonymous: Revolution Through Sweaty Apathy
• Kings Rule Together: A Kings Response: GQ 40 Worst-Dress Cities in America
• Lifestyles of the Thrifty and Shameless: Everybody, Everywear (again)
• Panache Offblast: Bring Out Your Inner Geek-Chic!
• Pretty Innovative: Geeked Out Over eCommerce
• Style Island: I’ll be on your side forever more..that’s what trends are for
• Styling You: 10 Ways to Dress for French Champagne on an Aussie Beer Budget
• The Loudmouth Lifestyle: Competing, Comparing Confessing

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My body is changing.  In the last year, I’ve gained an inch or two around – everywhere.  I know this because sometimes I can be a little self conscious, but if you no longer fit into any of your jeans, wouldn’t you be a little annoyed?  Besides being heavier than I’ve ever been, I’m also more out-of-shape than ever.  So in a recent conversation I mentioned a meeting with a trainer, and a friend asked me, “Like … at a gym?  Why do YOU need a trainer?  That’s silly!”  I thought about it – I want to fit into the clothes I own.  I’d also like to be able to run up a flight of stairs without gasping like a fish out of water!  From the outside this might seem like a thin-obsession, but it’s more about knowing what makes me feel good.

I asked body-positive blogger, Jessica from Tangled Up In Lace, about this phenomenon:

The whole flipping point of Body Acceptance is that NO MATTER what you decide your body’s path is, its perfect for you.   Its a matter of thinking critically about WHY you want to do what you want to do with your body.  I’m so behind self care and deciding what healthy means to you

No one ever has the right to put value on how someone handles their own body.

And Ashe from Dramatis Personae pointed out:

There hasn’t been a point in my life where my body wasn’t solely my own concern.  My parents were always worried about me being too fat as a child, when I really wasn’t more than chubby.  Instead of teaching me to eat right, they just tried to ban foods from my diet.  It wasn’t ever about health, it was about appearance.

In the past 2 months, I’ve had one close friend and one acquaintance call me fat.  And the fact is, it made me more angry than anything.  Who the hell are they to make comments on my body?  As far as I’m concerned, my weight is the concern of me, my doctor, and my partner– in that order.

The media doesn’t help– since I was a kid, magazines had covers boasting the weight loss of stars, while tabloid magazines trashed the weight gains and struggles of others.  They’ve taken women’s bodies and made them public property, free for all to make comments on, without regard to the fact that there are people inside those bodies.

Women should do, simply, what makes them feel good without being detrimental to their health.  If eating a cupcake on a bad day makes you feel better, do it!  If going on a 5 mile run makes you feel great after a fight with you best friend, do it.  Every goal I have for my own body and weight is, for the first time in my life, strictly for me.  It’s about feeling a certain way, going back to a place where I was happy, and was living a life in moderation.

My friend Carrie is undertaking a fitness/body challenge – she’s recently competed in figure competitions.  She does it because “It makes me feel strong, confident, sexy, invincible… I’ve realized that I loved the process leading up to it much more than the competition itself.  The way I feel when I take care of myself by eating right and working out is enough motivation for me now. There’s nothing better than feeling great!”

Although she does it for the best reasons, she’s still subject to body-shaming.  She adds:

It’s much easier to cut a person down or discourage them because of your own issues than be unconditionally supportive. I see this in all aspects of my life, but never moreso than going through this fitness/body transformation journey… and I STILL get it even after all this time. The comments change but story is the same, the people belittling my effort, & my goals seem threatened by it. They are happier if I’m not doing than if I am.

Honestly, the more I think about it, that whole “you’re fine just the way you are” thing really gets to me. Because if [someone] mentions a desire to change… why not improve? There shouldn’t be anything wrong with that (outside of like you said, extreme situations where there’s something else going on).  I really think it goes back to making the rest of us uncomfortable… it’s been much easier for the masses to say, “love yourself the way you are” than for ALL of us to have to take an honest look at ourselves and either accept what we know we don’t like, or … work fucking hard to make changes.  Change isn’t easy, especially when it comes to matters of eating/exercise and the discipline that involves.

I felt a little shame as I headed to my gym appointment, because obviously I love me, right?  Why should I get the side-eye, because I want to be healthier and stronger?  There’s this derisiveness towards my hitting the gym as if these people think I’m deluding myself about why I go.  I feel like we (Everybody. Women.  Ourselves.  Each other.) are so programmed to snark on women’s bodies, regardless of the situation – whether they’re curvaceous or thin or fit or waiflike or brown or purple or like cheese or whatever.  We’re totally missing the point of just caring for ourselves.

As this post titled,  The Body Count from “At War With Our Bodies” adds,

Body image should never be a battle. Although it is true that the ideal weight, as defined by the mass media, has been shrinking in recent years I am more disheartened by this attitude of “winning” and “losing” than I am by the media’s glorification of a nearly unattainable body. People are losing sight of the real problem maker, the media, and aiming their frustrations at each-other by splitting off into teams of sorts ; us against them, skinny against fat, muscular against frail… it just doesn’t make sense.

While I am 100% behind the Fat Acceptance Movement and all of the more generalized Body Acceptance Movements, I cannot get behind their unintentional exclusion of certain body types. For instance, the phrase used by many FA Activists, real women have curves**, really bothers me. Real women have curves? How about; real women have vaginas? Or even better; all women are real women, whether they were born female or became female by choice. By excluding women of a certain body type from being “real” women these groups are participating in the same exclusion they protest… that hardly seems like winning to me.

[These two sentiments] are both equally damaging as they deny people their right to feel comfortable with their body, regardless of what shape it is. One sentiment may be more mainstream than the other, however, this doesn’t make either statement right or justifiable.

I appreciate what the self-love movement does and is trying to do to liberate people from certain ideals.  I also appreciate when a girl mows down a salad instead of picking pasta because she’s looking after herself (who am I to judge?  Maybe she needs the fiber, right?).  In my opinion, she should be able to also eat pasta if it pleases her, but jumping off on a rant about how she “needs a cheeseburger” assumes things about her that may not be true.  Self acceptance comes from within – not from the peanut gallery.  Self-love can mean challenging your self to become a better you.  Just because you’re undertaking that challenge doesn’t mean you love you any less.

I think we could stand to stop treating women’s bodies like public property to comment on. I know that sometimes it’s hard to take a message off the ‘net and apply it in real life, and that it might be awkward to point out to your group of in-person friends when they’re body-snarking.  But maybe you can turn it around.

When someone says something negative about a girl’s body, point out a positive.  Or when you hear yourself saying you want to lose a few, acknowledge the reasons why and remember all the other reasons that your body is great.  And then work out if you want to - if your goal is safe, and reasonable, there’s absolutely no reason why you should be ashamed of wanting to “make better”. Your choice is just that – yours.

And if you’re one of those people who constantly say “you’re fine the way you are” to your friends who express wanting to better their bodies, know your reasons for doing so.  Stop to think about your reasons before you speak, because that sentiment could be inadvertently shaming.  Instead of saying, “you’re fine the way you are”, try pointing out something positive, your favorite part of that person who wants to make better.  Encourage them to do what they feel is right for their bodies, because ultimately that choice is theirs.

So what do you think?  Angry?  In agreement?  Ever been subject to body shaming on either side?

Part 1 – I always feel strange writing about body issues – especially considering my size.  I worry that, since I’m on the small side, I’ll be subject to a lot of negative commentary pointing out that I’ve got nothing to complain about.  And that’s exactly the problem…

During a recent conversation with friends, a gal I know mentioned going on vacation and wanting to shed a few pounds for the beach.  She was asking about our workout routines (for those of us who are so inclined).  There were a few different camps – those who said that diet could change it, those who said that exercise could change it, those who (like me) said “get a trainer because they are magical creatures who tailor your workouts…” And then there was the camp that shamed us all, saying “That’s silly. You don’t need to go to the gym.  You’re fine the way you are”.

It felt a little like saying *if you have to go to the gym you obviously don’t love you and that’s wrong* – like wanting to better your body is not a legitimate goal. I started to feel like that’s just as damaging as the whole “thin is in” campaign we see in fashion mags, etc.   It’s very damned if you do, damned if you don’t – when did we start subconsciously shaming  girls for wanting to care for their bodies?  For striving towards becoming a better person (in whatever regard that may be)?  Or for just loving and accepting themselves as they are now?

As Kate from Eat The Damn Cake says in this post:  “Really, there’s probably a compromise here. If someone is trying to lose weight, I’m not standing next to them at the gym with a bag of Doritos, going, “You’re wasting your time! Want some pizza? I could really go for a pizza…” I think losing weight is a completely legitimate goal in plenty of cases. I don’t think it has to be a symptom of superficiality or self-hatred. It can be really, really healthy.”

When I shared my thoughts with Kate, she added:

“I think sometimes on my blog I lean too far in the direction of the women you were describing, who act derisive about weight loss. I don’t feel like that, but I feel pressure to act like that publicly. Reading [your note] helped me put that tendency in perspective and understand better how unfair and, like you said, shaming it can be, to emphasize either approach without giving people room to make their own decisions. Life is too complicated for extremism in either direction.”

It feels like the “real women”, body-love mantras we hear so much about are walking a fine line; we should start loving us regardless of what our body looks or seems like, but we should be ashamed of wanting to change ourselves (and, we know that certain body love movements can be very exclusionary).

While it’s great that the motto of many bod-acceptance movements is “love thyself”, I feel it’s can be healthy to both accept yourself and be a little conscious of your body, knowing its limits, knowing what it can do and what’s good for it.  And if you’re comfortable with you, rock on!  Work it!

But if you want to shed a couple pounds before your tropical vacation, that’s a legitimate goal.  You can eat what you want, and/or be religious about exercise if that’s your thing.  Being conscious of you, of how you look, of how you want to look doesn’t mean that you hate your body, or that you’re necessarily trying to conform to a thin ideal.  Don’t get me wrong – there’s a lot of “thin idolatry” out there, and current beauty standards do shame girls for not having the perfect body (whether it’s Christina Hendricks or Twiggy.  And, of course, this is not touching on cases where there’s something else going on etc.).  But we all realize that the perfect body doesn’t exist, but in a few very lucky cases.  The majority of us are gloriously imperfect.  And you have the power to demonstrate enormous self love by caring about your body – whether it’s feeding it cookies or taking it for a walk.

More tomorrow…

So a couple weeks ago, I received an invite to a Body Shop event at Pacific Place and I RSVP’ed.  Celebrity makeup artist (oh, she’s good!), fun products, and a new line of bronzing options so that we sun-fearing, fair-skinned ladies can still rock a golden look during the summer… It sounded interesting, so I said, “yes!”  Let me just say, the Body Shop was a madhouse when I arrived – probably a testament to their line of products.

I met Irene from Couture Petite (who’s super adorable) and their Celebrity Makeup Artist Shalini Vadhera, whose had quite the roster of clients.  Throughout my session, Body Shop associates kept coming up and commenting on how luminous my makeup looked, courtesy of their full line of bronzing products. We were offered goodie bags and photos with professional photographer Paul Nathan. I was really impressed with the quality of their makeup products. Helloooooo Gorgeous!

I was amazed at how much fair trade sourcing they do, and I really liked the idea of “trade,  not aid“.  The Body Shop promotes small and struggling economies around the world by sourcing ingredients, with the objective of “creating trade to help people in the Third World utilise their resources to meet their own needs”.  Having studied the phenomenon of trade in third world economies in Econ, I believe this is much more effective than throwing money at a problem until it goes away. This might be considered anti-capitalist or anti-globalization, but the Body Shop philosophy is actually in favour of international marketplaces. The Body Shop uses its profits and influence to enact fair labour practices, safe working environments and pay equality.  That’s definitely cool in my book, because that’s the best way to boost the international marketplace.

Another interesting thing the Body Shop lists in their values is their Stop Trafficking campaign, calling for a safe harbor law for child-victims of sex trafficking.  In their campaign they say,

The US should change the laws that allow children to be arrested and prosecuted when
they are victims of sex trafficking. Instead of arrest they should be offered support and
protection as they are in New York and Washington states.

A “safe harbor” law can:

• Protect and prevent any person under the age of 18 from being charged, prosecuted or incarcerated for prostitution.
• Refer exploited children to special services and shelters that will support their recovery.
• Require the training of law enforcement, judges and first responders

I think this is a wonderful and worthy campaign so I asked how I could help. Lara, my Body Shop contact, said it’s as simple as getting people to sign the petition.  She offered a couple goodies to give away to participants who’ve signed, so I have 3 items from their Honey Bronze line to give out to you, dear readers.  They are the Honey Bronzing Powder in Medium, the Honey Bronze Face Gel, and the Honey Bronze Brilliance Powder.  Faux, being my preferred method of bronzing, I can say I’ve used all three products (as well as the Honey Bronze Shimmering Dry Oil) and they’re shimmery, but not too heavy – great for a sun-kissed glow without the risk to your skin.

So click below to add your signature to the petition and comment to let me know you’ve signed.  You can also tell people about this petition (and contest) by tweeting:

Help @birdiee and @thebodyshopusa stop Sex Trafficking! Sign the petition (& let us know, to win a Honey Bronze set). http://bit.ly/j6VYsK

On July 15th, I’ll pick a name from the comments and tweets about this post, and the recipient will receive this lovely little care package, courtesy of the Body Shop.  I’m excited to be helping the Body Shop with such a great cause.

While flipping through June’s Elle last night, (I go through it a couple times, once for the pretty pictures, once for the articles and once to tear all my favorite images out of) I stumbled across a quote that seemed incredibly relevant:

“It just reminds us how different “real” women and celebrities are when it comes to their relationship with fashion.  Stars [and internet stars - my emphasis] use it to build an image; the rest of us look for clothes that connect with some inner part of ourselves – we need self expression, not a fan base.”

As the much-talked-about Blogger Beautiful post from Gala Darling points out,

“We all retouch our faces to be blemish-free, & if you only knew how many bloggers manipulate their waistlines or thighs in Photoshop! My point is, some fashion blog images are as unrealistic & idealistic as what is presented to us in magazines.”

Our relationship to the clothes, the platform, the photos are all different – but for many of us, it’s a form of self expression, not a means to a fan base.  And the beauty of that is that our self expression is what keeps us beautiful, relevant, shining, bright.  I sometimes wonder if, as fashion blogging becomes a bigger industry, it is becoming less creative – following the footsteps of the fashion world.  I wonder that and then I remember all the unique, down-to-earth, well read and amazing people whose lives I’ve been given a peek into.  And if they stopped blogging (and if you stopped blogging) and being them (your) selves, yes, fashion blogging would be less creative, less fun, and less intriguing.

When we give ourselves permission to be and feel everything we are – monstrous, large, loud, brazen, occasionally ugly – we age backward.

Translate that: when you love yourself regardless of your bad hair days, your outfit faux-pas, your gaffes in public (I’m a total goober in public, but I laugh, because it’s often hilarious!), you are nothing but inspiring – even on your non-fashionable days.  When you allow you to be you, when you’re not afraid to post images of yourself, and challenge others around you to do the same, you are courageous. That’s what style blogging is all about.

So often I find myself walking a fine line between posts that are *~FLUFF AND FASHIONZZ!~* and meaty, essay-style articles. Straddling the line between serious-blog and fun-blog can be a little daunting, but I feel like it takes a delicate balance between fun and thoughtful to make a blog successful.

It’s those meaty, well thought out posts that I feel most proud of, not a post about cute shoes, or an outfit post.  The writing that really matters to me are those posts I’ve worked on, and thought about, and deliberated.  Sometimes it’s hard to continue writing that type of post of when there’s very little feedback, and I know that’s also the case for many other bloggers.  I’m guilty of shooting off a quick Twitter response, or commenting as I share a post in Google Reader.  I sometimes feel bad about doing that instead of going to the actual site for a well thought out discussion.

I also feel like it’s better to have zero comments than to have spam comments, or follow requests – comments that don’t have much to do with what I’ve written (more on that from Ashe Mischief).  If your comment is thoughtful, it takes me about 30 seconds to pop over to your site and see what you have to say.  I know the ball bounces both ways.  Ultimately, it’s up to me to make conversation happen in my own webspace.

The trick is to not be discouraged, but to realize that those essay pieces are complete as they are – comments or no.  They were complete when I hit post, and I’m truly graced with being part of a great community when I get twitter replies or actual comments.  It’s not really about the comments, but about speaking my mind.  As Jamillah of made-to-travel said to me yesterday, “There is a quote … that says, ‘Speak, even if you think no one will listen’, so I do.”

However, as a blogger, it is important to strike the balance between oration and conversation; between yourself and your audience.  Write for you – of course – but realize that what people most respond to isn’t self promotion.  Your readers want to respond to something that engages them.  They like to read posts that are real, and include situations they’ve experienced.  That means that blog success often comes from connecting with your readers.

This doesn’t just apply to your blog.  Do you have a Facebook page for your blog?  I know I do, and sometimes I’ve struggled at knowing exactly what to do with it.  Even more discouraging: I recently found out that a very small percentage of Facebook page updates are actually visible to fans, because of an algorithm called EdgeRank.  EdgeRank gives every post a quality score – measuring the number of comments, likes, and shares per post against the number of fans a page has.  To be more visible and build up your EdgeRank, a page has to make posts interaction friendly – with polls, tags, questions, relevant links, and a whole lot of community.  It’s kind of a Catch-22, but you can do it by asking questions, engaging other bloggers, making vlogs, and just generally becoming an active part of the community.

That Facebook algorithm is relevant, because that’s kind of the way blogging works.  If you build up your interactions with your readers and bloggers you admire, you’ll be more visible.  I believe we’re all here as part of a community.  And as I mentioned on this great post from Jamillah on Beautifully Invisible:

Sometimes fashion blogging may seem like a tight knit circle of people who all blog/tweet/talk together. But it’s not – all you have to do is add value. Thoughts, links, laughs – those are all value. That’s the easiest way to break the ice, and break into that circle. Once you make that conversation and connection, it’s a very inviting and easygoing community.

I bought Style Statement as the ultimate lifestyle guide/workbook.  Danielle LaPorte and Carrie McCarthy put a lot of time and effort into this book and gal pals raved about it.  Nothing but glowing reviews and two-word revelations about how people I knew had found their true selves.  So when I became so suddenly unemployed, I thought, “Let’s give it a try!”  I wasn’t sure where I was headed or why… and I was hoping this book would put that all into perspective.

I sat down with the book and a notepad, and diligently followed a few of the exercises.  Was I “this” or “that”?  Was I “matte” or “glossy”?  Was I “round” or “square”?  How do I feel in a bookstore?  How do I spend my free time?

As I wrote, I began to notice that I was writing the same things over and over – not one or two words, but whole lists of words written out like punishment on a chalkboard.  Soon enough, I stopped writing.  I would gloss over the questions, and read others’ responses.  Playful Casual… I liked the sound of that.  Dramatic Contemporary… I like the sound of that!  Cultivated, Magic, Frivolous, Vintage, Connected, Cherished, Feminine, Cosmopolitan, Treasure, Vibrant, Curated…  Full-time Dreamer.  Motherfucking Starchild Odyssey.

And as so many of these words kept popping up, I realized that I just like words for words, and that I couldn’t boil my life and experiences down to just 2 words.  Sometimes I feel like Cultivated Magic.  Sometimes I feel like Connected Treasure.  Sometimes I feel like Frivolous Vintage.  I looked at my closet, I looked at my house.  I looked at my art, I looked at the treasures I collect.  I looked at these little slices of my life and all of them were different, and intertwined and just as much a part of me as the next.

At this point, I haven’t been able to nail down two words that define me.  80% here, 20% there.  I haven’t been able to hit that magic number and I think it’s because I often feel like I’m more than a ratio.  The whole “trying to fit my existence into two words” felt a little like surpressing all the other words I wanted to or could possibly be.  And I know that that’s the point – once you figure out those magic two words, your life falls into place, you realize who you are and what path you’re on and all the sudden the Universe magically opens and you can rename your blog and your cat and your purpose in life.

Unless you’re like me… in which case, all of that happens without having just two goddamn words.

I have to give it to Style Statement’s authors.  They genuinely made me think, and I’m not sorry I bought and read over half the book.  And I think someday, I’ll probably plow through the rest and realize what I’ve been missing. Eventually, maybe, I’ll find that magic definition (Ooh… that’s a good one, right?  Magic Definition?!) that I can’t quite nail down because my brain is a maze of letters and pictures and stars and numbers.  I tried so hard to want one of these statements but the Childlike Wild-Thing (Is that one?  I dunno… I think that’s 3 words) inside me cannot commit to one set of ideas.  Objets Magiques, Strange Treasure, Random Clarity… my brain fills up with all the words I could be – words just spilling right out of my ears, there are so many – and somehow I’m comforted in knowing that somewhere inside my head I’m already defined.

As my Notes from the Universe said the other day: “Insisting on details, Birdie, always limits you.”

You guys know what that’s from – don’t even lie.  (I can hear Alicia over there cackling to herself…)

In a grand gesture of “I DO WHAT I WANT”, last night Scarlet bleached out sections of my hair framing my face and I took the plunge.  See, my hair is this mix of blue demi-permanent dye mixed with a purple-silver-black demi-permanent dye.  You can tell it’s this indigo color in bright sunlight, or – if I’ve got my hair pulled back, you might discover the tiny baby hairs around my face are blue.  When the color fades I mix a little Special Effects blue with my conditioner and my indigo color springs back to life.  That is, unless Scarlet has bleached out portions of my hair, which then turns this manic cobalt color.

I’ve always had hair color that isn’t my own (since I was … 14?) and I think it’s fun to play with color that way.  But it was always a red, auburn, sometimes the color of cherry cola… and then a few years back I lightened up and we put some orange into it.  My job at the time scoffed, but decided it wasn’t my whole head.  It was also a color close enough to real hair color, so that they left me alone.

And then we played with highlights…

And then I decided it should be pink – or at least partly so, in order to keep “the man” off my back about having an “interesting and unnatural” haircolor.  The hilarious thing about that was being called out at work – a passing comment in which our HR person told me, “Well it’s not like it’s blue or purple or green.  It’s close enough to real hair color so we won’t have to write you up.”

It never dawned on me until then that I could maybe be “less” if my hair was a strange color.  I mean, it’s not like the dye alters your brain.  The society we live in is more accepting of tattoos, piercings and things out of the ordinary, so why should I be written up for having HAIR that’s an interesting color.  Of all the things that could be “wrong” about me, as a person, you pick that?  Something as harmless as hair follicles.

Last night as we pulled the blue color through the bleached hairs, I thought back to that feeling.  I’m interviewing for some freelance/contract stuff right now and I wondered for a moment if having fun highlights in my hair might ruin my chances for work.  Because let’s face it – we still live in a world where “the man” can reprimand us for self expression.  So I may NOT get the job – regardless of whether or not I work harder than the next girl who doesn’t use bright colors in her hair.

I had a brief second of “O wow. What have I done?” and then I realized that I don’t want to work in a place that doesn’t accept me head to toe.  I will put my best work forward for that company that says “we don’t base your performance reviews on hair color”.  I realize that comes from a position of privilege – some people may not have the option of saying “I don’t want to work anywhere that doesn’t like my (unnatural) hair color, tattoos… etc”.  But I also think there has to be a way to approach these companies we work for and say, “Listen, I want to express myself this way – You know it doesn’t affect how I work for you”, without fear of reprimand.

And there’s a whole ideology behind that statement – “I whip my hair” is the power of individuality (that, or I’m reading too deeply into pop culture).  It’s the power of you over those who think they can keep you down.  Fear of individuality?  That’s no way to live.

What do you think?  Is your company cool with that? How do you handle self expression at work?

I found this in my written archives and after reading through it, I thought the message was poignant.  At the same time, I’ve seen recent fashion shows – like Betsey Johnson – where REAL models walked the runway.  I’ve seen beauty ads – like Bobbi Brown – where real women are used.  And I sort of wonder – have fashion’s fictitious standards changed that much in the last few years?  Read on, and let me know!

–

There was an article in Newsweek asking what the media standard of super-thin models is doing to our society.  With the close of NYFW that February, Newsweek reported that an epidemic of slimness was on the rise again! They mentioned the symposium at Bryant Park on weight guidelines in the fashion industry – noting harrowing stories of models who were only allowed to eat “lethally small amounts of lettuce and Diet Coke“.  The article reports that, although the industry claims to be monitoring girls for unhealthy habits, designers are hesitant to impose minimum weight guidelines for catwalk models – Diane Von Furstenburg, most notably, saying weighing runway models would happen “over my dead body.”

(Img courtesy of NY Magazine)

The article pointed out the discrepancy between fashion models and the average woman.  On average, an American woman stands 5?4? at 155lbs, where the average model now boasts a height of 5?10? and weighs 23% less than that.  No wonder women today cling to fad diets and unhealthy eating habits that could eventually lead to more weight gain in the end.

(Img courtesy of LongStation.com and Amber Mac)

The models themselves can’t even keep up with their own images – the article notes that even after hours of hair and makeup styling, their photos go through hours of rigorous photo-manipulation to look perfect on the cover of popular fashion mags.  No wonder women feel a little outdone by runway and magazine models – their images are unreal.  They’ve had their freckles erased, every stray hair photoshopped into perfection, their legs and necks lengthened, their faces slimmed and realigned for symmetry, their nose shaped, their breasts lifted – and all of it is done through the click of some editor’s mouse.

(Img courtesy of Jezebel.com and David Airey)

In the end, these images we’re bombarded with on a daily basis may contribute to how we perceive ourselves.  In Dove’s “Real Truth About Beauty” study, Dr. Nancy Etcoff of Harvard University says:

“Only the minority of women see themselves as above average in appearance, and only 2% claim to be beautiful… Indeed, the study shows that women are less satisfied with their beauty than with almost every other dimension of life except their financial success.“

And Dr. Susie Orbach from the London School of Economics states,

“The overwhelming majority of women … [do not] wish to be excluded because they fail to find their beauty reflected in the images which bombard them, on average, in 2000 advertisements per week.… Beauty itself must be revitalized to reflect women in their beauty as they really are rather than as portrayed in the current fictions that dominate our visual culture.“

Indeed, the study did show that women feel that the ideal standard of physical attractiveness is almost impossible to obtain, and that weight and proportions are inextricably linked to that standard of beauty.

The best part of the Dove study was that women do consider beauty a combination of factors (including physical attractiveness).  Women do know that beauty is about who you are, not just how you look according to some fictitious standard set by the advertising industry – but with the continuing bombardment by mainstream media, we sometimes find it hard to believe.

Perhaps we are judging ourselves a little too harshly against some false standard set by people who want to sell us product.  The truth is, beauty IS on the inside as well as the outside.  If you feel good about yourself, and feel confident in your lifestyle and choices, that inner radiance will shine through.

It’s time we recognize the unrealistic standards our media and fashion industries set, and begin to love our selves, despite what anyone else thinks is beautiful.  Appreciate people (including yourself), not solely for their physical attractiveness, but for that beauty they possess that isn’t based on weight or proportion.

Sources:
Newsweek.  Why Skinny Models Could Be Making Us Fat.  Feb 28, 2007.
Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty.  The Truth About Real Beauty: A Global Report. September 2004.

I was at a little fête the other day where girls in beautiful party dresses and fancy hats ate tea sandwiches, chugged champagne, and talked about the finer points of being une femme mystérieuse. We got into the topic of owning Chanel – ever coveted, always a budget killer.  I will admit, I own one piece: a beautiful black box-style handbag, missing it’s chain, but in the most beautiful butter leather I’ve ever felt (thank you, Rice and Beans Vintage!).  I was able to get it for a good price, and I take it out on special occasions like any Chanel-coveting girl might do.  I got it because I could, because I loved it, and because it was beautiful.

So, we were comparing bags and talking about the finer points of feeling fancy carrying them, when one girl blurted, “The salesgirl told me it would be a great investment.  I can’t just carry it everywhere if that’s the case!”  I gave her the side-eye and pointed out that a bag is not an investment — and that this lovely girl should carry around that bag with a sense of wild abandon, because she has the bag, and because she can.  She insisted that she keep it in it’s dust bag, in her closet, saved only for VERY special occasions.  And the loudmouth I am, I told her: “That is ridiculous!”

Because a designer bag is a lot like a new car; once you drive it off the lot, it loses quite a bit of its value.  In the first year, that “investment” will lose up to 20% of it’s retail price.  Ultimately we all knew that fashion isn’t a TRUE investment – so refraining from carrying that new gray Chanel bag in order to preserve it’s value is… well… silly.

A true investment will at least hold its value with time.  In fashion, an investment is a good piece that you will wear forever – but in fashion, the idea of investments depreciate.  I know Chanel is a lifetime purchase, a big deal, your pretty baby – but if you tried to resell that gem you’re not likely to get get what you paid – whether or not you actually carry it.  Some designer pieces may not lose their value as quickly – especially those that are artisan-made instead of mass produced, but a quick calculation shows that the odds are against finding that one special collector piece that may sell for more than its original retail value.  So what gives?  Why stash it away in it’s dustbag in the closet when you could be gallivanting around town with something so eye-catching?

Maybe it’s the feeling you get carrying around something that’s impeccably made, luxurious, and envy-worthy.  You’ve put down cash to feel like a champ, because you’re carrying something that does come with a history.  Maybe it’s that you know how much you spent on it, and you know how much you’ll carry it, and the cost-per-wear is definitely worth it to you.  That feeling you get when you have that object is indescribable, and that feeling is what you’ve paid for.  Satisfaction, love, luxury… that’s what you pay for.  And that’s not bad, but it’s an “investment” in your mental state, not anything that’s going to eventually put your children through college.  It won’t do you any good hiding in your closet.

With that in mind, don’t let that salesgirl tell you that the bag you’re buying is going to be anything like an investment, because that’s the oldest sales-trick in the book.  Don’t kid yourself about why you’re buying it – know exactly what it’s worth to you to own that special piece.  And life is too short for you to stash it away like some government bond you’re saving for a rainy day.  Carry it, loud and proud – even if it’s just to work to display on your desk as a reminder that you are fancy and important and you carry Chanel.